My dear Nigerian mother, I am going to be judging you seriously in this post. Before you accuse me of lack of understanding, I reassure you that I do understand, I know what your problems are.
For example I know you are busy, most of you have to work alongside your husbands for the financial equation of the family to balance.
I know that now more than ever with the modern wave of feminism and all other similar influences via social media, you now feel that you are not solely responsible for the welfare of your child, after all you should claim your equal rights, should n’t you? Coupled with that is the fact that you are both bread winners of the family.
I know that labour is cheap in Nigeria so you can afford to delegate your primary responsibilities to nincompoop that you surround yourself with like drivers, nannies, domestic help etc.(Please pardon the strong langauge)
I know you grapple with so many other important duties like going to early morning church services minimum of three times a week, hallelujah hour, Shiloh hour, and all the other hours, time you wuld have spent on school runs, evening services, that you ought to supervise your child’s lesson teacher, midweek services, first Monday of the month service, and NASFAT events,MSS etc for the Moslems among us, so where do I expect you to find the time?
I know you have to keep close tabs on your spouses by checking their phones regular which robs you of the time to check your child’s homework and wellbeing, and you also have to ensure you and your spouse both ride home together so as not to give him breathing space to philander.
Your weekends are also filled up with parties, functions and events due to no fault of yours, after all you were not the one that asked to be invited, you are the soul of parties, they just can’t do without your presence, and after all it is people that will come for your own event too, shebi? Apart from that, your Facebook and instagram pages must be updated with new pictures every weekend. Your fans must not be disappointed ke being a Facebook celebrity that you are.
You also have to keep up with Nollywood movies, and these Nollywood people, they know how to churn out movies, Iroko TV and Netflix have also been added unto you to compound your problems
Finally I know you are always in denial and if a serious issue concerning your child is staring you in the face, the only action you will take is to chant ‘God forbid’ it is not my portion, I reject it in Jesus name, awusu bilahi or report to your ‘spiritual fathers and go from one night vigil to the other (this night vigil plague has also spread into Islam in case you are wondering) in search of special prayers and deliverance for the child
The image above is very clear it does not need any explanation, it’s been circulated a while ago and when I saw it for the first time, I wept. I felt like strangling those whose carelessness led to it and not the nincompoop, the perpetrator, because come to think of it, it was not really his fault. When I was going through the comments on one of my old posts, I came across a comment; ‘God forbid’ as if when you warn somebody about an impending danger, you are wishing that such danger happens to the person.
I know what your problems are but I refuse to cut you any slack. We need a total re-orientation and complete overhauling of our upbringing skills. We have to make up our mind on whether we really want children or not and if we do, we should be able to make some sacrifices till they are old enough to protect themselves from predators and also old enough to make informed decisions.
Meanwhile we can start by taking some of the following measures.
Spend quality time with your child, befriend them, the advantages are very many
Contrary to what you may be thinking, God is not vindictive, He will not punish you for missing a few services. He is a fantastic father and the only ministry only you can do is to be a parent to your child, pastors are replaceable,mothers can neither be swapped, nor exchanged. God will understand if you prioritize your child over church activities although Pastors might not tell you this but we all have access to the Bible and each has a personal relationship with God so you can find out by yourself.
Avoid as much as you can, leaving your child in company of drivers and other domestic helps and relatives of the opposite sex and sometimes the same gender. You can consider taking shifts with other parents from your child’s school for joint school runs.
You can consider a more family friendly occupation or business and even put your career on hold for a while for the sake of your child.
No calamity will befall you if you miss a few parties, try it and let me know how it goes
Where your child is concerned treat everybody as guilty until proved innocent.
You can thank me for the post instead of accusing me of being unnecessarily paranoid as some other commenters on this blog have.